Zombies Vs Animals: Naturalist Explains How Nature Would Annihilate the Living Dead

Nature would fend off any potential zombie apocalypse to plague the planet, a leading naturist has said.

David Mizejewski, with the National Wildlife Federation, has written an essay explaining why nature would prevail over zombies in the event of a zombie plague.

Writing for Boing Boing, he wrote: "Zombies are scary. We humans are evolutionarily pre-programmed to abhor the dead bodies of our own species. It's a natural reaction, helping healthy individuals avoid fatal pathogens.

"The thought of being eaten alive is a natural fear, and when it's your own species doing the eating, it's even more terrifying.

"Relax. Next time you're lying in bed, unable to fall asleep thanks to the vague anxiety of half-rotten corpses munching on you in the dark, remember this: if there was ever a zombie uprising, wildlife would kick its ass."

Mizejewski says that, essentially, zombies are just walking flesh, and there are many species of animals that would see them as a feast.

Dubbing birds "winged zombie annihilators", he says vultures, eagles and condors would all happily feed on a hoard of zombies, while ravens, crows and magpies as "expert scavengers" would join the dinner party.

Turning to mammals, Mizejewski says larger predators, such as grizzly bears, would be "more than a match" for zombies. "They would easily tear apart rotting zombie flesh," he said.

The naturist also said that hoofed mammals would be dangerous to Zombies. Speaking about zombie TV series The Walking Dead, he said one scene where a horse gets eaten by zombies is unrealistic.

"Wild hoofed mammals would not be so passive as to let zombies to get close enough to swarm and overwhelm them. In fact, hoofed mammals are more dangerous to humans than carnivores ... If a zombie got too close, a moose would stomp it into an immobile pile of gore without a second's hesitation."

He said reptiles would act as the "clean-up committee" in the event of a zombie apocalypse. For example, snapping turtles are used by police to find underwater corpses because of their penchant for dead flesh, he said.

Finally, bacteria, molds, fungi, maggots, flies, beetles and other flesh-eating insects would all eventually decompose any remaining zombies, reducing them to "hollowed out skeletons".

"There you have it. Even if zombies managed to feed on smaller, slow-moving animals, or mob and overtake a few individuals of the larger species, it's pretty clear that they're no match for much of North America's wildlife."