Career Or Kids? Why It Doesn't Have to Be a Choice

Balancing a career and starting a family often seems impossible, especially for women facing societal pressures and workplace challenges. Yet, with the right mindset, which includes being flexible and adaptable, open communication, which involves discussing your needs and concerns with your employer and family, and support systems, such as reliable childcare and understanding colleagues, pursuing professional success while raising a family doesn't have to be an either-or decision.

This article explores how women can navigate the so-called 'motherhood penalty,' a term used to describe the negative impact on a woman's career when she becomes a mother, plan for parenthood, and build partnerships that allow for a fulfilling career and a thriving family life.

The Motherhood Penalty and Its Impact

The Motherhood Penalty refers to the disadvantages women face in the workplace because of having children. Research suggests that the motherhood penalty accounts for 80% of the gender pay gap. This gap starts small when women are in their 20s but widens significantly when they reach their 30s and start having children.

According to Henley Business School, "the motherhood penalty impacts aspects of women's careers such as pay, promotion and the ability to gain good quality employment. [However,] without access to affordable childcare, paternity policies that allow men to spend more time with their children, and societal shifts in perceptions about motherhood and the role of women in society, the motherhood penalty will endure."

Career vs. Family: Does It Have to Be a Choice?

We often assume that men and/or women are forced into choosing a family over a career or vice versa. However, what if that wasn't the case? If you want both, we believe it can be achieved. Here's how you can have it all as a career woman (or man) and balance your professional goals with having a family.

There is Never a 'Right Time' to Have a Family

If you're wondering whether now's the right time to start your family, we can't answer that. However, we can certainly say there is never a completely 'right time' to have a family.

There will always be more to do in the house, not enough money in the bank, and too many things going on in your life. So, starting your family when you feel most ready is essential.

Pregnancy is a significant time in a woman's life (and her partner's). If you become pregnant at a time you did not expect and you don't feel physically, emotionally, or mentally ready to have a family yet, pregnancy termination is an option.

Speak with those you trust about your feelings, and talk openly with your partner about the best next steps for your family.

You Can be a Career Woman And Have a Family

If you want children but don't want to give up your career, rest assured that there's no reason you have to. We're here to encourage you that having children isn't a prerequisite for giving up on your career.

Do you need help to achieve both? Yes, of course. Mum, Krystal, put it well when she said: "Working full-time while raising kids is just plain hard. I don't know what to say when people ask, 'How do you do it all?' Maybe the best answer is 'I don't.' So maybe rather than asking that, the question should be, 'How do you make it work?'"

According to Women In Negotiation, "It's a fallacy to think that as a woman, you must choose between a corporate career or your home life - that it's a black or white, all or nothing, zero-sum game. You are made for more than just one or the other. There is a third way, a golden middle ground, in which you can have a fulfilling career and a healthy and happy life."

Discuss your worries with your boss. Together, you can work out a solution that fits your responsibilities. For example, you could start and leave earlier each day, work from home, request access to on-site childcare, and check in with your boss monthly to protect your mental health and ensure the arrangements are working for everyone. Open communication—and plenty of it—is key.

Learn from The People Around You

Do you have role models in your life who are working and raising kids? Start paying closer attention to the way they work. Do they schedule their days? Are their kids in childcare? Do they swap in and out with their partner? Take note of the things that work and incorporate these into your own life.

Next, sit down and talk with them about the reality of working full-time while raising kids. Do they have any tips?

No one has this parenting and work-life balance that is entirely perfect. We're all just doing our best. However, a great path to success is to learn from those who've gone before you.

Invest in Your Partnership

One of the most important things you can do when working full-time with kids is invest in your home partnership. In many households, women tend to shoulder most chores and child responsibilities. And with working full-time and carrying the emotional load of the family, it's no wonder so many mothers are burnt out and struggling to cope.

Establishing a healthy and well-balanced partnership in the home is essential to successfully balancing your career and your family. Sharing the tasks and responsibilities can ease family and corporate life pressures.

When couples think about raising a family and how this will change their relationship and career dynamic, the thought can feel daunting. However, we hope this article has assured you that balancing a family and a career is possible. You don't have to choose one or the other.

With the proper planning and support from your partner, you can have a successful career and raise a happy, close-knit family.