Geek Speak: Most Annoying Facebook Updates [BLOG]

After much debate in the office and among friends, it's clear that there are a number of subjects, photos or people that frankly annoy the hell out of everyone.

Some can't stand the sight of another meal in Instagram format, some can't tolerate another new baby photo and some people have conducted a Stalinist purge on their Friendlist when they couldn't bear seeing another round of updates from people with political bias.

And, of course, we have the 'lurkers' that seem to hate everything and anything posted on Facebook, which only makes you question why they are on it in the first place.

But we've all been guilty of posting things that clog up friends' Newsfeeds and one man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist - well you get what I mean, I hope.

So here is a compilation of the most irritating types of Facebook updates.

Mix and match your bugbears and if you find yourself annoyed by all of them, I'd urge you to rethink being on Facebook in the first place.

Pictures of Meals

I don't know why it has become trendy but cupcakes are suddenly all the rage. Well, they are remarkably easy to make and therefore will be able to be baked by even the most inept chef.

But, please...

Do we need another smattering of pictures of your latest culinary attempt in various forms of filtering courtesy of Instagram or Snapseed? Do we really need to be kept abreast of the latest neon-coloured frosting you are using?

What's more, we all know what a bowl of pasta looks like, and a burger for that matter.

So unless the meal or item is ridiculously hideous or bigger than your face, we don't want to know.

Passive-Aggressive Shout-outs

In the Facebook era, the term "frenemy" has never been more true. We all get it - you are stuck with people on your Friendlist that frankly annoy the sweat out of you. In fact, some aren't even friends but you can't delete them for whatever reason - usually mutual friends.

But because people are generally chicken and simply cannot tell someone to shut the hell up or that you don't like them anyway, there is a camp of people who seem to dominate their updates with passive-aggressive shout-outs (sometimes with criminally bad grammar and spelling) to voice this but without naming people.

For example, "You are so annoying and I hate you, I wish you'd go away".

Yes, very mature. Please take it elsewhere. You're 40, not 14.

Going to the Gym

Now, I'm somewhat guilty of this but sometimes you have to shout out you accomplishments.

I find it also rather inspirational seeing some who have completed races, triathlons or have bench-pressed 150kg - it simply makes me want to get off my backside and do something other than eating a gigantic Domino's while watching My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

But there are some, who like to inform the world that they are going to the gym, have been to the gym, looking forward to the gym and oh, did I mention - gone to the gym again.

OK we get it.

We're being fat and lazy and gluttonous at the pub while you're shaping yourselves to be the next Adonis or Aphrodite.

Baby Snaps and Kids in New Outfits

Now this is a touchy subject and of course will probably divide most people into two camps; those with children and those without. (I am predicting I will have a substantially reduced contact list after this posting).

There's no doubt that welcoming a new life into the world is pretty extraordinary and most friends will be delighted in seeing the developments of their little bundle of joy. And yes, posting pictures of your newborn is great. In fact, that's what we are all on Facebook for - right? We want to know in an instant, how our friends are doing, what major event is happening in their lives and of course what incredible news they have to share.

But there is a limit, people.

What most grumblers tend to have an issue with is when you log into Facebook and you are machine-gunned with 1,000 new pictures of your child, which generally involve them looking rather tired and in the same position they were the last 30 times, like a coddled potato. The first 50 pictures are adorable, the remaining 1,000 pictures is a fast track route to the 'hide all activity' list.

It's become such an issue for some people that a company has created a Facebook app to mask any new baby-related updates.

Meanwhile, back to schooltime usually proves rather painful. There is only so many times you can be bombarded with pictures of your children in the same uniform they have worn for all the previous and subsequent years and frankly, it's not that interesting.

Vehicle-Related Updates

You drive a car.

We get it.

You drive a motorbike.

We get it.

What we don't get is why constant pictures of an inanimate object at various angles are meant to somehow be interesting to the rest of us. At least offspring pictures will deliver some variance.

But the vast majority of us really don't care that you went for a bike ride today or that you had a "fun ride". Adding fuel to the fire, we find it weird that you name your inanimate object with a female human name. Stop it.

Lianna Brinded is a senior business writer on IBTimes UK