'Why Do You Need a Sitter?': Working Moms Questioned About Needing Sitters, But Not Dads

Women are often subjected to unrealistic expectations. They're expected to excel in every aspect of life: relationships, motherhood, career, and more - all at the same time! This pressure was highlighted in the experience of one working mother who faced criticism for hiring childcare.

TikTok user @christinabobina19 recently shared her frustrations about balancing motherhood and a work-from-home job in a video. "What is wrong with society?" she asked. "I literally just got asked why I send my daughter to the sitter, who is 7, by the way, when I have to work full-time from home."

"When I say I work full-time from home, I work a salaried 40-hour-a-week position," she explained. "And I just got questioned why I have to send my daughter to the babysitter while I'm trying to get that job done, just because I work from home."

Christina highlighted the absurd expectation that working mothers should be able to handle both full-time childcare and a 40-hour workweek. This impossible standard is a clear example of women's challenges in balancing career and family.

The Balancing Act: Women In The Workplace

Content creator and mother of four Paige Turner highlighted a significant gender disparity in a TikTok stitch, claiming such expectations would be unheard of for male employees. "Add this to the list of things that people do not ask men," she said.

Turner pointed out that when men work from home, people assume they must have childcare because it seems impossible to do a job while also watching children. She stated that women are held to a completely different standard.

"Women are expected to not only have a full-time job where they sit at a computer and take calls all day long, but they are also expected to watch their children, yet employers wanna make it very clear that they do not accept that", Turner added.

Turner highlighted the discrepancy between societal expectations and workplace realities for women. "Society as a whole is saying, 'Wait, why not? We expect women to be able to do everything," she said.

"So why can't they have a job and also watch their kids?'" she said. "And employers go, 'No, no, no, no. That's not productive. You can't do that.'" Turner pointed out the common yet often-unacknowledged challenge working mothers face: caring for children while employed remotely.

Turner emphasised the contradictory expectations placed on women. "And you're doing all these things, and people look at women, and they say, 'Why are you so angry? Why are you so stressed out? What's the big deal?'"

"Well, the big deal is that when I use child care, you tell me I'm not raising my children. When I don't have a job, you tell me I'm a gold digger. When I have a job, but I work from home, I'm expected to also watch my kids, but my employer will fire me if I do that."

Societal Pressure: The Weight Of Expectations

Although the U.S. has moved away from rigid gender roles, deep-rooted disparities persist, indicating that achieving true gender equality is an ongoing battle. "Women most often are the ones who adjust their schedules and make compromises when the needs of children and other family members collide with work," according to Pew Research Centre.

They identified two primary factors contributing to this issue. Firstly, women continue to shoulder a disproportionate burden of housework and childcare while dedicating fewer hours to paid employment. Secondly, societal expectations of motherhood remain largely traditional.

Despite advancements, societal expectations often place the primary burden of childcare on women. As Turner aptly observed, this starkly contrasts with the treatment of male counterparts.

A recent, highly publicised incident underscored this issue: a woman was expected to return to work a mere 24 hours after giving birth—a demand that would be unthinkable for a male employee.

Such pressures can lead to extreme stress and burnout, impacting both maternal and child well-being. For instance, an ex-Porsche lawyer was recently sentenced after throwing her 10-minute-old child out of a window to ensure it didn't disrupt her career.