stay-at-home dads
Despite a rise in stay-at-home dads, some men are struggling to strike a balance between taking care of their children and working on their personal projects. Pexels

A New Delhi resident resigned from his position at Goldman Sachs after a decade of employment to become a stay-at-home father while his wife continued to work.

In a conversation with Business Insider India, 35-year-old Pranshu Dwivedi from New Delhi discussed leaving his job at Goldman Sachs to become a stay-at-home father. "I joined Goldman Sachs as an intern in 2011, and in 2012, I got a full-time job as an analyst working in their Bengaluru office," Dwivedi said.

Dwivedi stated that he began his career at Goldman Sachs as an intern in 2011 and transitioned to a full-time analyst position in their Bengaluru office the following year. Business Insider India verified his previous employment at Goldman Sachs through supporting documentation.

Dwivedi remained with the company for nearly 12 years, during which he met his wife, who subsequently joined the firm. The couple welcomed two children into their family in 2018 and 2023. Dwivedi resigned from his position last year to assume the role of a stay-at-home father.

Empowering Women's Careers By Shifting Parenting Roles

Following a fulfilling career, Dwivedi aims to prioritise his family and alleviate the mental burden of household chores from his wife. "I think other men should be open to doing the same," he said.

Reflecting on his time at Goldman Sachs, Dwivedi shared that he was a member of the equity research team. Working at a leading financial institution like Goldman was a dream come true for him. "I was earning a good salary and felt like I'd gotten somewhere in life," he noted.

Dwivedi's wife joined the company in 2014. Their romantic relationship began that year, culminating in marriage in 2017. Later that year, both relocated to the Goldman Sachs office in Hong Kong. The birth of their son in 2018 coincided with promotions for both of them.

However, the pandemic prompted a reassessment of their parenting roles, ultimately leading Dwivedi to resign from his position. Their son was their primary focus, but the demands of their high-pressure careers in Hong Kong created a challenging balance.

Following her maternity leave, Dwivedi's wife returned to work, and the couple employed a full-time caregiver for their son. They endeavoured to complete their workday by 6 or 7 p.m. and return home for lunch whenever feasible.

Observing their son's joy at their presence made them realise that they desired at least one parent to be consistently available with the arrival of their second child. "Mothers typically take career breaks to be with their kids, but we had similar careers, and I was open to taking a break instead," Dwivedi told BI.

With the arrival of their second child in February 2023, Dwivedi's wife had transitioned to a different company. Goldman Sachs' newly implemented policy of 20 weeks of parental leave for all genders allowed both parents to take time off. This experience further solidified their decision for Dwivedi to leave his employment.

"I've tried to take on as many childcare responsibilities as I can," Dwivedi told the publication. He handles the daily routine of dropping off and picking up their son while caring for their younger child during his wife's working hours.

Dwivedi and his wife share the tasks of bathing and putting the children to bed equally, but he has taken primary responsibility for other household chores. "It's great not having to look at my calendar for anything my wife and kids need me for," he added.

The Challenges Of Stay-at-Home Fatherhood

While Pranshu Dwivedi enthusiastically embraced his role as a stay-at-home dad, not every man finds the transition smooth. The Standard's Martin Robinson, who describes himself as a "classic stay-at-home dad," noted that a new study has found that the number of stay-at-home dads has gone up by a third since the pandemic.

The number of stay-at-home dads has increased by a third since the pandemic, reaching 141,000 compared to 1.2 million stay-at-home mothers. While this represents a significant shift in childcare roles, it likely understates the trend due to the number of fathers who are primary caregivers but avoid the label.

It took Robinson quite some time to realise that being a stay-at-home dad was a full-time job encompassing laundry, cleaning, tidying, school runs, meal preparation, and constant emotional and physical demands.

Initially, he attempted to balance childcare with his projects, ignoring domestic responsibilities. However, mounting stress and the realities of child-rearing forced him to acknowledge that fatherhood couldn't be a sideline, regardless of the potential impact of his project.

"In all, I spent five years being a stay-at-home dad, if you include the pandemic. It is rewarding, but it isn't easy," Robinson said. This sentiment aligns with a 2023 study indicating that single parents are more susceptible to anxiety.

One of the most frustrating aspects of the role is the persistent "crap dad" stereotype, according to Robinson. Even after mastering the challenges of childcare and household management, gaining respect from others and, more importantly, oneself remains an uphill battle.

Despite many stay-at-home dads' challenges, some have successfully navigated the role and garnered public attention. In 2014, Doyin Richards, a stay-at-home father, became an internet sensation after a photograph capturing him multitasking with his young daughters went viral.

The image depicted him styling one daughter's hair while carrying the other in a baby carrier. While the photograph garnered praise for his hands-on parenting, it also sparked a wave of mixed reactions online.

Some critics accused him of laziness and questioned his pride in being a stay-at-home dad. As Pranshu Dwivedi and Martin Robinson's experiences highlight, the role of the stay-at-home dad is complex and multifaceted.

While societal perceptions are gradually evolving, there's still a long way to go before these fathers receive the full recognition and support they deserve.