Morrissey's 55th Birthday: Most Outrageous Quotes on Sex, Hair and Existence

It's Morrissey's 55th birthday and to celebrate, IBTimes UK has had a look at his most memorable wisecracks and advice.

On his entrance into the world: "Naturally my birth almost kills my mother, for my head is too big, but soon it is I, and not my mother, on the critical list at Salford's Pendlebury Hospital ... Once I am discharged from hospital, my sister Jackie, older by two years, is interrupted four times as she attempts to kill me, whether this be rivalry or visionary no one knows."

On growing old: "Age shouldn't affect you. You're either marvellous or you're boring, regardless of your age."

On Oasis: "They are very tame to me. God bless Noel, I'm sure he'll always have a spot on 'Bob's Full House', but I search for something with more bite and rage."

On hair: "I do maintain that if your hair is wrong, your entire life is wrong." Also, "Long hair is an unpardonable offence which should be punishable by death."

On self pity: "I see myself rather like an old discarded dishrag."

On seizing the day: "Nothing is important, so people, realising that, should get on with their lives, go mad, take their clothes off, jump in the canal, jump into one of those supermarket trolleys, race around the supermarket and steal Mars bars and kiss kittens."

On sex: "I always thought my genitals were the result of some crude practical joke."

On comedians: "If I met Vic Reeves, I'd have no desire other than to smack him in the face."

On existence: "When I'm lying in my bed I think about life and I think about death and neither one particularly appeals to me."

On animal welfare: "With people in the world such as Jamie Oliver and Clarissa Dickson-Wright there isn't much hope for animals."

On Richard Madeley: "He referred to me as an 'insufferable puffed-up prat'. This is a bit rich coming from a man who actually married his own mother" (Independent).

On animal cruelty in China: "You can't help but feel that the Chinese people are a subspecies" (Guardian).

On being disliked: "Whenever I'd overhear how people found me to be 'a bit much' (which is the gentle way of saying the word 'unbearable'), I understood why. To myself I would say: Well, yes of course I'm a bit much — if I weren't, I would not be lit up by so many lights."

On Denmark: "Denmark is sadly a hellish place if you happen to be a pig, but the brioche and fruits that tower on the table before me have me hastily attaching a feedbag."

On shopping: "I walk to the shop every day to buy things that I don't need, because I want the owner to still feel relied upon, rain or shine."