Quick Facts About Amanda Palmer: What Did Neil Gaiman's Ex-Wife Know About the Alleged Assaults

Amanda Palmer, the American singer, songwriter, and performance artist best known as the lead vocalist and lyricist of the punk cabaret duo The Dresden Dolls, was married to acclaimed British author Neil Gaiman for 11 years before their divorce was finalised in 2022.

Known for her theatrical performances, crowdfunding innovations, and candid memoir The Art of Asking, Palmer has remained a controversial yet influential figure in the arts. However, recent allegations of sexual misconduct involving Gaiman have cast a shadow on her role as both a spouse and a co-parent.

The Palmer-Gaiman Marriage: An Unusual Union

Palmer and Gaiman's relationship began in 2008, blossoming from a creative collaboration for Palmer's debut solo album Who Killed Amanda Palmer. They married in 2011, holding a quirky, private ceremony at the home of authors Ayelet Waldman and Michael Chabon. The pair's marriage was as unconventional as their public personas, with the couple frequently discussing their open relationship.

In a 2019 interview, Palmer admitted that traditional monogamy felt "terrifying" and confessed, "We've both shattered one another's hearts occasionally through bad choices, but our relationship stands it."

Yet, their union began to unravel during the COVID-19 pandemic. While in New Zealand, Gaiman left Palmer and their young son to return to his home in Scotland, breaching lockdown protocols and igniting public scrutiny.

In November 2022, the couple announced their divorce, calling it a "difficult decision" while committing to co-parenting their son in a "loving and compassionate environment." The announcement came just as troubling allegations regarding Gaiman's relationships with younger women and fans began to surface.

Allegations Against Neil Gaiman

In January 2025, a detailed exposé published by Vulture revealed multiple allegations of sexual misconduct, coercion, and abuse involving Gaiman. The claims, spanning decades, paint a disturbing picture of manipulation, including an alleged assault on Scarlett Pavlovich, a former nanny employed by Gaiman and Palmer.

Pavlovich claimed that Gaiman initiated non-consensual sexual acts, escalating to violent encounters during her time as their nanny in 2022. She described incidents where Gaiman coerced her into sexual activity, even in proximity to their young son. In one harrowing account, Pavlovich alleged that Gaiman assaulted her in a hotel room while his son was present, a claim Gaiman's representatives have vehemently denied as "false and deplorable."

What Did Amanda Palmer Know?

Palmer's role in the allegations has come under intense scrutiny. According to Vulture, Pavlovich informed Palmer about Gaiman's behaviour during a candid conversation in March 2022. Palmer reportedly expressed shock but admitted to Pavlovich that other women had previously confided similar experiences.

In total, Palmer allegedly referenced "14 women" who had approached her about Gaiman's actions, including one who accused him of inappropriate behaviour towards another nanny during his first marriage.

Despite this knowledge, Palmer's response to Pavlovich's distress has drawn criticism. When Pavlovich filed a police report in New Zealand, an officer told her that Palmer's cooperation would be crucial for the investigation. Palmer, however, declined to speak with authorities. Her reluctance has led some to question her complicity or willingness to protect Gaiman despite the allegations.

A History of Boundary-Pushing Art and Controversy

Palmer's career has always been defined by boundary-pushing performances and radical honesty. From her beginnings as a street performer to becoming one of crowdfunding's most successful pioneers, she has built a loyal fanbase while sparking polarising debates.

Her 2014 memoir The Art of Asking chronicles her philosophy of fostering intimate connections with fans, yet critics have questioned whether this ethos extended into her personal life with potentially harmful results.

During her marriage to Gaiman, Palmer often celebrated their openness and collaborative spirit. However, friends and associates noted cracks in their union. A musician close to Palmer commented that "she seemed to carry the emotional labour of their marriage," particularly as Gaiman's fame grew and reports of his extramarital dalliances surfaced.

Divorce and Financial Struggles

Since their separation, Palmer has faced significant financial and emotional challenges. According to those close to her, the divorce proceedings have been contentious, with Gaiman allegedly "bleeding her dry." As of late 2024, Palmer has moved back in with her parents in Massachusetts, a stark contrast to the couple's previously bohemian lifestyle.

Despite the turmoil, Palmer has continued to create, often drawing on personal pain for her art. In 2024, she performed a song titled "Whakanewha," seemingly addressing the allegations against Gaiman. Lyrics like "You'll get away with it; it's just the same old script" have been interpreted as a scathing critique of her ex-husband's actions.

The Legacy of the Allegations

As Pavlovich and other accusers continue to seek justice, questions linger about the extent of Palmer's awareness and her responsibility as both a public figure and a parent. While she has not publicly addressed the specifics of the allegations, her silence on the matter has only deepened the controversy.

Amanda Palmer's life and career remain as complex and provocative as ever, but the events surrounding her marriage to Neil Gaiman may prove to be a defining chapter in her story. Whether she chooses to confront these issues openly or retreat from the public eye remains to be seen.

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