Sexy Fish: Wonderfully gaudy restaurant, full to the brim, heavenly food

Starting with a side note, there is actually a sexy shrimp. Who knows if there is an eponymous 'sexy fish' here but thor amboinensis, aka the squat shrimp, is also named the sexy shrimp. I don't know if you can eat it but they're found from the east Pacific to the west Atlantic oceans.

Sexy fish on the other hand, is found in Mayfair. Right on Berkeley Square. Ready with doormen to greet you.

It's busy, very busy. It's a Wednesday night and it's packed. There isn't a free table around, bookings are incredibly necessary. It's loud too – the convergence of 100 conversations echoing with the pumping music in the background.

There is a shiny, black crocodile on the wall.

This is as gaudy as restaurants get, but that's why you want to come – it feels rather like an experience, than a dinner. But if it is just dinner you're after, then you're also in luck because not all the money went on those Damien Hirst mermaids, they put some thought into the food.

The evening managed to start out with my favourite, an octopus carpaccio that you'll want to carry around, nibbling forever, licking the lime-y, tangy dressing from your fingers. It then went on the only real disappointment of the night: the sushi. The california maki wasn't bad but the sexy fish roll was three different kinds of fish that you couldn't really taste because of all the greens that had been crammed in, overpowering the whole thing.

Things sparked up again with the baked Alaskan crab that so perfectly melted in your mouth, made sexier with the sour cream dipping sauce. My dining partner texted the next day to say she was still thinking about it.

Address - Berkeley Square House, Berkeley Square, London, W1J 6BR

Times - Monday to Saturday: 12pm - 11pm; Sunday: 12pm - 10:30pm. Bar closed at 2am expect Sunday at 1am

Telephone -  020 3764 2000

Website - sexyfish.com

Menus - Here

Prices = At least £40 per head, not including drinks

The mixed vegetable tempura was lovely with a dashi broth beside and the grilled avocado had another wonderful lime-y dressing; I wasn't so fussed about the tofu beside it but across the table was a big fan.

The scallop and monkfish yakitori got better as we made our way to the inner portions of the skewer, down the well cooked, meaty chunks. The miso-glazed Chilean sea bass rounded everything off immaculately and left us somehow full but wanting more.

Just at the end, we shared a single scoop of lychee and rose sorbet that acted as a perfect cherry on top of the proverbial sundae – on top of the actual sorbet was a wafer in the shape of a fin; sexy, indeed.

The prices are not for the faint-hearted, you might need to breath a little before you get the bill, but the food was fantastic overall and the lux atmosphere is an extra pull. But again, book well ahead.