The Apprentice Week 10: Tourists explore the terrors of London, Ghosts, Ghouls and Cockneys
On the day that the OECD published its international league tables showing that Britain's educational system is now in such a state that it falls behind those of minor ex-Soviet Republics, the candidates on the Apprentice yet again demonstrated their unbelievable ignorance.
This week the "most ignorant statement made on the Apprentice award" went to Jamie Lester for proclaiming that the Thames is the "second longest river" in London. So what is the longest then Jamie?
He then got the runner up prize as well by declaring that the clock-face of Big Ben was "20 diameters in width" or something equally nonsensical.
Certainly both remarks beat the belief of Sandeesh Samra (now fired) that Pinewood Studios was a furniture store.
The reason Jamie was putting his ignorance on display was for the benefit of tourists as this week Lord Sugar tasked the teams with running a London bus tour for a day.
Jamie, working with Chris Bates and Joana Riley (who led the team) opted to run a "Ghosts and Ghouls" tour of London, while Stuart, the alleged brand, Baggs, Stella English and Liz Locke went for a "Cockney" themed tour of London.
The cockney idea was Stella's, who as a Londoner (and from the sounds of her an east Londoner) appeared passionate about showcasing her cultural roots and about proving she's not the cold corporate type she's made out to be.
Things backfired a bit partly as there is a good reason that there are not many tours of the east end, but also as Stella's colleagues managed to annoy the natives by asking them to put on extreme cockney accents in order to show the "real London", as though their customers were visiting reservation Indians or South African shanty towns or perhaps were just looking for Dick Van Dyke impersonators.
The Ghosts and Ghouls idea seemed to take off rather better although the best line of the day went to Chris who after a particularly gruesome story from Jamie about Sweeney Todd, mumbled away "maybe you should leave that one out".
Despite keeping the story in and his lack of anything resembling knowledge about London, Jamie's team won the day, thanks in no small part to Chris who offered a local tourism company 20 per cent of all their takings in return for them channeling customers to their tours.
Jamie and Joanna were at first none too pleased about having to hand over a fifth of their income, fearing it would lose them the task, but in the end the extra customers gave them a victory over the their rivals.
Chris' manoeuvre was praised as "shrewd" and "innovative" by Lord Sugar, a good sign for the investment banker that he may have the sacred "spark" that Lord Sugar says he's looking for.
He may have a serious rival in the form of Stuart though, who despite leading the losing team told his story of young entrepreneurship to Lord Sugar. One could almost see Lord Sugar's eyes welling with tears as he recalled his own youth.
Stella, who had a close call last week came away largely unscathed from the boardroom with her rendition of "Knees up mother Brown" dispelling fears she was too corporate, combined with her past record saving her from serious criticism. She also narrowed her eyes at Lord Sugar, which until now has proved a highly effective way of exerting her will.
So it was that Liz, and excellent seller and a hard worker, found herself fired from the process, much to the surprise of her fellow contestants who expected "loose cannon" Stuart to be going home.
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