Tulisa Reveals She's 'Demisexual': What Is It And Why Has She Been Celibate For Three Years?

Tulisa Contostavlos, the N-Dubz singer and former X Factor judge, made a heartfelt revelation during a recent episode of I'm A Celebrity. The 36-year-old shared that she identifies as demisexual and has been celibate for over three years, citing emotional and personal growth as key factors behind her lifestyle choice. Her candid admission sparked a conversation about demisexuality and the challenges she has faced in her love life and relationships.

What Is Demisexuality?

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which an individual experiences sexual attraction only after forming a deep emotional connection with someone. For Tulisa, this means she prioritises emotional intimacy over physical attraction, which she described as a "slow burner." During the conversation with her campmates, she explained that the thought of engaging in casual relationships or dating without emotional depth makes her feel "physically sick."

As the discussion turned to relationships, Tulisa stated, "For me, it's all about the connection and the emotions I feel with someone." She added, "I'm not an overly sexualised person; this is my temple, and you cannot enter!"

Why Has She Been Celibate?

Tulisa's decision to remain celibate for three years stems from a combination of personal values and past experiences. During her time in the spotlight, she endured a highly publicised revenge porn scandal in 2012 when her ex-boyfriend Justin Edwards released a private sex tape without her consent. The ordeal, which took place during the height of her career as a judge on The X Factor, deeply affected her trust in relationships and her sense of self-worth.

Speaking on the impact of the incident, Tulisa revealed, "It felt like virtual rape... I felt judged, disgusting, and ashamed." She described the experience as life-changing and stated that it took her years to come to terms with the betrayal and emotional toll it inflicted.

Reflections on Her Dating History

Tulisa has had a string of high-profile relationships in the past, including a two-year romance with her N-Dubz bandmate Fazer, real name Richard Rawson, from 2010 to 2012. According to Heart, the pair remain close friends despite their breakup. She has also been linked to other notable figures, such as Shameless actor Jody Latham and multimillionaire Costas Panayiotou, although these relationships were short-lived.

Her most recent public relationship was with David King, music producer and nephew of Cher, in 2017. The couple reportedly spent time together at Cher's Malibu home, but their romance ultimately ended.

Tulisa's choice to embrace celibacy reflects her journey of healing and self-discovery. "All pain is growth," she said in an interview, emphasising how her past experiences have shaped her into a stronger person. While she remains open to forming deep emotional connections, she has prioritised her mental health and personal boundaries over societal expectations of dating.