Usain Bolt continues to attract baffling levels of unprofessionalism from professional journalists
Eleven months on from his last appearance on British shores, Usain Bolt is back. United Kingdom tax laws lifted and Justin Gatlin barred from competing, the six-time Olympic champion has the glow of the London Anniversary Games all to himself.
Bolt's last appearance in the UK saw him anchor Jamaica to Commonwealth Games 4x100m gold, a story overshadowed by his lack of enthusiasm towards the city of Glasgow, doping scandals within the sport and his absurd entrance into Scotland's second city.
When journalism is finally buried underneath social media in the hierarchy of news-gathering techniques, the media event that marked Bolt's arrival at the Games should be remembered as one of the key moments that helped hammer the final nail into the coffin of the forgotten profession.
'Journalists', whose camera phone fixations would not put them out of place within the cesspit of boyband fanatics, swamped the 100m world record holder with inane questions and selfie requests that betrayed their profession.
Ahead of a first race in London since 2013, Bolt faces the media following a harrowing season. Unfit, out of form and overshadowed by Gatlin, the 28 year old heads to the World Athletics Championships in August with his continued dominance of world sprinting in severe jeopardy.
But how would he be received, though not amid the fanfare of a major championships, but nevertheless during a rare appearance in the English capital?
It is clear from the outset that the world's media have not missed a trick. Dozens of photographers, cameras and journalists have packed themselves into an inadequately sized sweatbox at the Tower Hill Hotel awaiting the one of the biggest sportsmen in the world. Think Bruce Springsteen playing in your garden shed, and you approach an understanding of the ridiculous provisions laid on by the organisers.
Though a press conference to preview what is expected to be two runs at the Anniversary Games is hardly an event to make the mouth water, the fanboys and girls have sneaked their way into this particular briefing. Even the Fleet Street reporters can't resist a photo when Bolt finally arrives, late.
It is not until the questions start to flow do you realise that no matter how small a fraction of the media attend a particular event, you cannot escape absurdity of the highest order.
The response from those who have attended to the best question of the afternoon, regarding whether Bolt justifies George Osborne granting a tax amnesty to him and other athletes so they can retain earnings during the meet, is met with the howls which normally accompany a courtroom drama or soap opera slap. How dare a global superstar have his profile challenged.
Gatlin, Mo Farah and the upcoming World Athletics are refreshingly top of the agenda but occasionally a uncalled-for question purely appealing to Bolt's personality is thrown in. A bit like a stand-up comedian dealing exclusively in Christmas cracker jokes, it goes down like the proverbial lead balloon.
Bolt is first asked about his beloved Manchester United, what does he make of their signings this summer? And what of his friend Bastian Schweinsteiger, who has also moved to the Premier League club? We get a blow-by-blow rundown of Bolt's views.
Somewhat depressingly, this is when Bolt is at his most fluid. Though he hardly evades the topic of doping, the goings on at United come to him far easier. The same goes for the Jamaican football team's success at the Gold Cup.
Later, Bolt is questioned over why he can't bring the Jamaican weather to Britain – a reference to his comments in Glasgow when he claimed the Games were "a bit s**t'. The sprint champion goes on to explain how he is unable to influence weather systems across the UK. I can only image the journalist concerned was delighted with his answer, as he clutched his autograph book.
And with that, he departs for another 24 hours until he becomes the centre of attention again. No, his reception was not akin to the debacle of Glasgow, perhaps it was never likely to be given the lack of gravitas surrounding the event.
However, it once again exposed the horrid reality of modern-day journalism. Some are put on this earth to do a professional job, to do their industry justice. Others are here to shoulder rub, to gawp at celebrity figures and use social media to brag. Beware, they're everywhere.
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