'Nothing Is Off The Table': Starmer Has 417 Pages Worth Of US Goods That UK Could Crush With Tariffs

Britain isn't taking Donald Trump's latest tariff blitz lying down. On 3 April 2025, Sir Keir Starmer's government hit back with a 417-page retaliation list, slapping tariffs on 8,000 American products—from toilet seats to Harley-Davidsons—after Trump's 2 April trade war manoeuvre sent £1.7 trillion ($2.2 trillion) tumbling from global markets.

With the Nasdaq suffering its worst day since the Covid crash, Starmer made it clear that 'nothing is off the table' in Britain's response. Here's a no-nonsense breakdown of this transatlantic clash—and how to avoid getting caught in the crossfire:

Britain's Loo-Seat Retaliation: 8,000 US Goods in the Crosshairs

Trump's 10% tariff on UK exports — 25% on cars and steel — lit the fuse. On 3 April 2025, Business Secretary Jonathan Reynolds dropped a 417-page bombshell, listing 8,000 US imports for potential tariffs, per Sources. Toilet seats, Jack Daniel's whisky (£150 million/$190 million in UK sales), and Levi's jeans top the hit list, alongside vacuum cleaners and chopsticks.

'We're not jumping into a trade war,' Starmer cautioned in Chesterfield, but he's clear: Britain's ready to clobber £30 billion ($38 billion) of US trade if talks fail by 1 May 2025.

This is no bluff — the stakes are real, and the clock's ticking. The consultation's live, flung open to the public like a call to arms, with punters, shopkeepers, and industry bigwigs invited to weigh in until 8 May 2025. It's a rare chance for the average Brit to shape a trade war's frontline — imagine nipping down to the local for a pint and debating whether to tariff Tennessee whisky or Texas beef next.

Reynolds has hinted at starting small, perhaps targeting £5 billion ($6.3 billion) in US goods to test the waters, but the full £30 billion ($38 billion) hammer hangs overhead if Trump doubles down. From loo seats to luxury bikes, Britain's ready to turn America's own exports into bargaining chips, proving that when push comes to shove, the UK can shove back — hard.

Trump's Tariff Blitz: Markets Down the Pan

Trump's 2 April 2025 Rose Garden rant, which goes: 'April 2, 2025, will forever be remembered as the day American industry was reborn' — unleashed chaos. His 10% baseline tariff on 185 countries, with the UK copping a 'Brexit dividend' at the low end, sent the S&P 500 crashing 4.13%, per sources. Wall Street's £1.7 trillion ($2.2 trillion) wipeout on 3 April 2025 was its darkest day since 2020, with Nike and Apple shares plunging 13% and 10%.

Sources peg the UK's export risk at £10 billion ($12.7 billion), with Scotch whisky (£1.1 billion/$1.4 billion) facing a 25% sting.

Survival Guide: Beat the Tariff Sting

Consumers, take note: a £15 ($19) pair of Levi's could jump to £18.75 ($23.75) if Britain retaliates. Stockpile US staples — toilet seats (£10/$13) might not stay cheap. Sources say goods diverted from the US could flood here, briefly slashing prices on imports like Japanese tech — snap those up before they vanish.

Businesses? Pitch your case by 8 May 2025; as 25,000 car jobs hang in the balance, per IPPR. Starmer's playing it cool, but Trump's not budging. 'The patient will be stronger,' he posted on Truth Social, ignoring the market meltdown. With £2 trillion ($2.5 trillion) in global losses looming, per Financial Times, this war's just warming up.

So swap that bourbon for a British gin and ride it out — your wallet's counting on it.