August Ames
August Ames left a suicide note for her family August Ames/Instagram

Even as there is no clue as to what exactly prompted porn star August Ames to take her life, a new report claims that she had endured sexual abuse as a child. The award-winning adult actress died on 5 December after hanging herself in a public park 20 minutes from her home in Camarillo.

A Radar Online report claims Ames made the shocking revelations in the Holly Randall Unfiltered podcast in September. "I have an awful relationship with my dad," Ames told the podcast host. In the interview, she discussed her struggle to communicate with her father about the abuse she was facing but this only worsened her relationship with him.

"I tried to forget about it and talk to him about how I was feeling about my childhood and everything, because there was a lot of sexual molestation — not from my father but from his [redacted] — so I had to suffer from being molested by my [redacted]. When I finally told my dad, he didn't believe me," she explained

Read more

Her bitter relationship with her father reportedly drove her into melancholy, and in the interview she claimed the entire experience was "just awful".

"It's still recent where I have to keep myself occupied or else I start thinking about all that s**t and then I fall into a depression. I try to do therapy. I hate that word. I hate therapy," she said.

Ames, whose legal name was Mercedes Grabowski, also went through a disturbing teen phase when she was offered cocaine in exchange for stripping naked in front of the father of a child she was babysitting.

The upsetting past took a toll on her mental health and she fell into depression. "Some days I'll be fine, and if I'm not doing anything I'll get these awful flashbacks of my childhood and I get very depressed and I can't get out of bed and cancel my scenes for like a week or two," she added.

Days before her death, the actress was subjected to scathing cyberbullying for refusing to do a porn scene with a gay porn star. She was branded a homophobic on social media by many including some of her colleagues from the adult industry.

Before ending her life, she explained that her refusal to have sex with a gay porn actor was about personal health. "NOT homophobic. Most girls don't shoot with guys who have shot gay porn, for safety. That's just how it is with me. I'm not putting my body at risk, I don't know what they do in their private lives," she wrote.

Many assumed that Ames took the extreme step following the internet abuse, but a suicide note recovered from her car has no mention of cyberbullying, according to The Blast. She reportedly said sorry to her family and friends before ending her life.

Following the 23-year-old Canadian adult actress' death, porn star Jenna Jameson accused people within the porn industry of inciting a lynch mob against Ames driving her to suicide. "I see something very consistent about these attacks made by the LGBT community... they try to strip your integrity, dehumanise you. Sickens me," she wrote in one of her tweets.