Are Dinner Dates Dying? Why More Singles Are Choosing Coffee Shops for First Dates

Forget extravagant dinners or late-night cocktails—singles are increasingly opting for coffee dates as their first meet-up choice. The casual and cosy atmosphere of cafés is proving to be a perfect alternative to the traditional high-stakes dinner date, offering a relaxed setting where couples can chat comfortably without the pressure of a formal meal. According to reports from the New York Post, popular coffee chains such as La Colombe have noticed a surge in first dates, with some locations witnessing up to 12 coffee dates per week. The trend reflects a shift in dating culture—one that prioritises authentic connection, affordability, and a pressure-free environment.

For many singles, coffee dates provide a safe and low-commitment way to gauge compatibility. While some argue that they lack effort, others believe they are a refreshing change that allows daters to focus on meaningful conversation rather than expensive, drawn-out meals.

Why Are Coffee Dates So Popular?

Cafés offer a neutral, welcoming space that makes first encounters less stressful. With soft lighting, gentle background music, and a steady flow of people, coffee shops create an atmosphere that encourages natural conversation. According to La Colombe's Bryant Park manager, Danbi Lee, coffee dates strike the perfect balance between social and structured. She believes they allow people to observe subtle personality traits, such as how someone treats baristas or whether they tidy up after themselves.

Lee explained that coffee shops provide a welcoming and secure environment for dates, with comfortable seating, soft background music, and natural daylight allowing visitors to get to know each other without the distractions of a noisy bar. She also noted that coffee dates can be surprisingly revealing, as they offer insight into a person's personality and temperament. Seeing how a date treats café staff and whether they clean up after themselves could be an indication of their character. According to Lee, these small habits often mirror how a person maintains their personal space at home.

Are Coffee Dates a 'Red Flag' or a Smart Choice?

For New York native Jon Buret, 26, coffee dates serve a different purpose—they reveal whether both parties are truly interested in each other or just looking for a free meal. He shared with The Post that he once asked a woman out for coffee, but she turned him down, claiming that such a date was 'low effort'. However, Buret believes that rejecting a coffee date is the real red flag.

'If someone refuses a coffee date, it tells me they're more interested in getting a fancy dinner than actually getting to know me,' he said, describing coffee dates as 'low effort, high reward'.

He also argued that sit-down dinners are too much effort for a complete stranger, while a coffee date requires less commitment and serves as the perfect launchpad for something more substantial.

'If it goes well, you can springboard from that into something else, like dinner,' Buret added.

Not everyone is convinced, though. Charlotte Craig, 27, believes coffee dates are ideal when meeting someone for the first time after only exchanging a few messages.

'They're very low stakes and can easily be adjusted for timing,' she explained. 'If you really click, you can sit for hours. If not, you can leave in under 30 minutes.'

However, she admitted that too many coffee dates could signal a lack of effort.

'If we've been talking for a while, and all you suggest is coffee, it comes off as lazy or cheap,' she said.

The Rising Cost of Dating: Why Money Matters

Beyond convenience, the rise of coffee dates is also driven by financial concerns. With the cost of living soaring, singles in both the US and UK are cutting back on expensive dates and looking for affordable alternatives. A study by AquaCard found that 54% of single Britons are skipping dates altogether to save money.

The study also revealed that:

• The average Brit believes a first date should cost around £45, though they currently spend £38, a 23% rise from last year's £31 average.
• In the US, the average cost of a date is £45.34 ($58.84), with men typically spending £52.30 ($67.87)—20% more than women at £43.57 ($56.54).

With dating costs rising, many singles are turning to alternative date ideas, such as coffee meet-ups, free museum visits, or scenic walks, to reduce expenses without compromising the experience. According to a study by Self Financial, 67.9% of Americans feel financial stress when planning a date, and this financial anxiety is leading many to seek low-cost, yet meaningful, ways to connect.

What Are the Alternatives to Coffee Dates?

Connor, 23, shared with IBT UK that his go-to first date is a cinema trip, followed by coffee.

'I normally spend £18.50 ($24) on two tickets, plus around £6 ($8) on popcorn and drinks. After the film, we grab coffee, which adds another £4.20 ($5.50). Then there's her Uber—I don't drive. Altogether, it's about £38.50 ($50), maybe £46 ($60) if things run over.'

He admitted that he hadn't realised how much he was actually spending on dates.

'Now that I think about it, turning movie dates into dinner dates wouldn't be that much more expensive. It might even be cheaper!'

For others, free date ideas such as museum visits, art galleries, or park walks are becoming popular. One Londoner told IBT UK that while he prefers free activities, he always covers his date's transport costs to ensure they feel comfortable.

Final Thoughts: Is Romance Changing?

The growing preference for coffee dates signals a shift in dating culture—one that values meaningful interactions over extravagant outings. While some still view coffee dates as 'low effort', others argue that they allow genuine connections to form without distractions.

With inflation affecting how people spend their money, coffee dates provide a financially savvy yet romantic way to meet someone new. So, the next time you plan a first date, consider skipping the stress of a full meal and grabbing a macchiato instead—you might just find love over lattes.